she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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