i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think a kid would responsible me up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
