umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it glows. i had to have it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
