How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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