It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize