I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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