She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
