It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize