I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
how does that bad decision feel?
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