So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
