I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
