Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
