its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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