some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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