Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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