MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize