She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
