kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
