I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize