Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
