i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
