Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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