its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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