I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it hurts more in the daytime
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
