You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
