Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
