I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We named our party play list daddy issues
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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