I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
