she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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