i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
