we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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