thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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