loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize