If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
