office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
