YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
