He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
