Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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