There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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