Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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