Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
