My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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