Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
