it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
