okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
