Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
