He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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