I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
