we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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