i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize