i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
