I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
