I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
