Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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