I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
is wine microwaveable?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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