Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
