drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize