I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
