True but thats because hes a fetus.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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