i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
