That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
