Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize