She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
