i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
