is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
even my farts smell like vagina
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
