oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
