Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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