there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
