The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
