Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
