wat bout pragnant strippers??
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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