I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
