grandma shit on top of the toilet
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
