my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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