too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize