My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize