she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
