you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
