My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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