I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
