Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
