Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
