he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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