I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just cropdusted the office
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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