you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize