Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
