Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
