He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize