Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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