i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
