Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
