Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
